Songs for Spock
by A fan of Many Stuffs
Summary: A collection of short stories, all inter-connected. For Spock, for Jim, for Uhura. For anyone who needs it. Dedicated to the late Leonard Nimoy. Different pairings. Taking requests.
1. Chapter 1 Vanilla Twilight

**Songs for Spock**

A collection of short stories, all inter-connected. For Spock, for Jim, for Uhura. For anyone who needs it. Different pairings.

**Vanilla Twilight**

Inspired somewhat by the first chapter of 'Vanilla Twilight' by Dracophile.

The song Vanilla Twilight is by Owl City.

**For Spock**

_Shortly after the destruction of Vulcan, onboard the_ USS Enterprise

Spock… I couldn't imagine how he must be feeling right now. He had just lost his home planet. His mother. As he got into the lift, I wanted to go to him, but I knew that if I did, I wouldn't be able to resist touching him. As a touch-telepath, he would not only feel his own crushing emotions, but also my own. Lt. Uhura started to get up, to go and comfort her boyfriend, I'm sure. A hand on her wrist stopped that immediately.

"Let him regain control, Nyota. My own mental shields have been compromised, and I don't even have any emotional ties to the planet." Without a word, she nodded and sat back down as the lift doors closed and transported Jim and Spock with it. In my mind, though, a rhythm started to form…

_Several months later, aboard the_ Enterprise

I had brought Spock into one of the Holo decks. I had brought up a dais with a grand piano on it, along with a row of seats in velvet in front of it. I brushed his fingers carefully, transferring my thoughts to him; a message ready to be received at his discretion containing my intentions.

I settled myself at the piano, letting him take his seat. When he was comfortable, I let my voice ring out in the open air.

"This song is dedicated to Vulcan, and everyone left behind in the carnage. This song is everything I wanted to say to you on that awful, awful day. This song is for all the broken bonds. _These_ are my soul words."

I splayed my hands across the piano and started to play.

"The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

Cause I'll dose off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'd send a post card to you dear

Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to play along

The silence isn't so bad

Til I feel your mind and feel sad

Cause the spaces between suns

Is right where you fit perfectly

I'll fight the cold in new ways

Though I haven't slept in two days

Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I'll sit at the space deck all night

Waist deep in thought because when I think of you

I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink I'll think of you

Tonight tonight tonight tonight

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter

And heavy wings grow lighter

I'll taste a sky and feel live again

And I'll forget the stars when I do

But I swear I won't forget you

Oh if my voice could reach back through the past

I'd whisper all alone

Oh darling I wish you were here

Oh darling I wish you were here," I finished, softly, ever so softly. Timidly, I raised my eyes from the music in front of me to my audience of one. Spock looked… touched, in his own special way. As the last note faded away in the large room, he stood, thanked me sincerely, and walked out.

I allowed myself to feel sadness. It ached in my side, my chest, and my throat. My eyes gently shut, and I felt a tear escape one. Spock would never be mine, I knew, but I would never stop caring for him. I would never cease to look out for him. I would never stop loving him.

Because I could never bear to lose the connection to the only other being on this ship that could understand the burden of being physic in space. Because I could never stop anything.

_Fin_

**A/N Vanilla Twilight is a song by Owl City. I changed some of the lyrics here, but the song and the rights to it belong to Owl City, not me. Am taking requests. Cross-posted to Archive of Our Own, user name AfanofManyStuffs. Eventually.**


	2. Chapter 2 I'm Not the One

**Songs for Spock**

A collection of short stories, all inter-connected. For Spock, for Jim, for Uhura. For anyone who needs it. Different pairings.

**I'm Not the One**

I'm Not the One is a song by 3OH!3.

**For Jim**

**The Acadamy, Mess hall**

"Hey Olivia, could you write me a song? I want something to remind me of you when I'm feeling down and you're not there."

"Why does it have to be a song?"

"Because you're the best at them, of course."

"I'll see what I can do."

So Jim wanted a song… He must have been looking at my PADD again. Or maybe I was just broadcasting my intentions and he was picking them up.

**One week later, Student Dorms**

I left a PADD out on the kitchenette counter, right where he always looks first thing when he enter his dorm. I hid in a shadowed alcove, watching him. He looked at the PADD and picked it up. He read the note on it once, twice, three times as the grin slid off of his face, and then clicked on the sound bit that was attached. A piano started playing. My song for him.

"You're way too young

To be broken

You're way too young to fall apart

You're way too young to play these games

But you better start

But you better start

This is when it starts

From the beating of your heart

Til the streetlamps talk to you

Jumping off of the edge

Oversleep in your head

Everything's turning dark to you

I went to pick up the parts

The doctor's hiding the charts

He won't let me see the inside of you

It's on the tip on my tongue

You know you're way too young

To have someone lie to you

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

You'd better find somebody else

To get a hold of yourself

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

You're way too young to be broken

You're way too young to fall apart

You're way too young to play these games

But you better start

But you better start

It was the second I lit

Your first stick of it

I forget who you used to be

And I bit my lip

The second you sipped

The poison that was mixed for me

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

You better find somebody else

To get a hold of yourself

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

Drink the poison lightly

Cause there are deeper and darker things than you

I know

Cause I've been there too

I know it must seem frightening

To have the world fall apart

Right under your shoes

Trust me

You've made it through

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

You better find somebody else

To get a hold of yourself

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you

I'm not the one

I'm not the one

Who wants to hurt you-."

Jim had closed his eyes, looking defeated.

"I'm not an innocent, Olivia. You know that. _Dammit_. Where did I go wrong. Where did I go wrong!?" His voice rang with frustration. I came out of my hiding spot.

"I know you're not an innocent, James." I said, startling him from the spot where he'd slid down on the ground. "But you… I'm not the right fit for you. I don't want to hurt you, but I'm going to inadvertently if I stay. We cannot continue our romantic relationship. To do so would be-"

"Don't you dare say it, Olivia. Don't you dare say it. I can't- We should- Look, I don't care that Bones disapproves. He disapproves of ALL of my partners. But I-I think I love you, Olivia. Please, please don't do this to me. You can even look into my mind if you want, if you need to prove it. Just- I-"

My eyes filled with pain. "Jim, what you feel is not love. It never was. I care for you deeply, Jim, and that will never change. But what you feel for me and what I feel for you is not true love. Not the kind that will last. It- I am sorry it this comes out wrong, but I am unused to having to express myself with words to describe feelings. Jim, I would like to continue our relationship- But I'd like to change the nature of it. I-I would know if-if you were the one for me b-by now. And-And I'm _sorry_, but I didn't want to lead you on! Can…Can we please change the nature of our relationship to one of friendship? We can even have sex, if you like. But… But I cannot bear to lead you to a false assumption, that this-_us-_ would work out. I care for you too much to do that to you."

I wait anxiously for his response as he runs a hand through his hair and stands up, leaving his PADD portfolio on the ground. He blows out a breath before he starts. "I… OK, OK, I get it. I'm not gonna be your final romantic relationship. I'm glad you told me. But… Can we be friends that hold hands, too? Cause I'm not quite ready to move on, yet. Is…Is that OK? Can you do that?" He barely waits for my nod before moving on. "Good, because… Because I don't want us to be on bad terms, and I would like to be plain old regular friends one day, but I don't want us to just end suddenly. Because then it would be awkward, and awkwardness isn't very conductive to friends. Or even friends with benefits."

"I think I can do that, Jim." I beam at him. "So, does this mean I can write more songs about you?"

We laugh (and have wild, crazy alien sex) long into the night.

_Fin_

**A/N I'm Not the One is by 3OH!3 and all rights are to them. I do not own and did not write or even perform the song, although I **_**did**_** fiddle with the lyrics a little bit. Relationship building… Was this OOC? For Jim? I think I've been reading too much K/S where they get all mushy… Add to that the fact that I've never actually been in a relationship, and I hope I did okay. I know that the ending is not what would really happen (probably), but the girl is of a species other than Human, incase you missed it. 3OH!3 is TOTALLY Jim- flavored, right? This song isn't actually like most of their stuff… **

**Have I mentioned this yet? I'd like to take requests, both for songs and for characters. Even songs for characters and what light you'd like to see the character in (For instance, I have a friend who can't stand Jim, even if I can't see the reasoning behind it. I still plan to write her a one shot, though). So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'll look at any viewpoint and consider any song.**


	3. Chapter 3 Goodnight

**Songs for Spock**

A collection of short stories, all inter-connected. For Spock, for Jim, for Uhura. For anyone who needs it. Different pairings. Taking requests.

**Good Night**

**Evanescence **

**For Amanda**

Spock was in the Holo Decks again. Since _she_ had given him his song, he had become quite fascinated with the old Terran instrument called a Grand Piano. Not with the workings themselves; for they were quite simple, but with the swirl of notes that could come out of it. When he had heard the instrument for the first time, in that simple but elegant theater, he had thought that it was impossible for _so many harmonies_ to come from just ten fingers and seventy-two keys (As called by Terran pianists themselves, though inaccurate).

He stood there now, in that same theater with his hands upon ivory keys. Suddenly, he recalled a soft tune that his mother used to sing to for him when he was very young. His first few tries gave him unsatisfying results as he tried different keys and key combinations. Starting over once again, his mind recalled with perfect clarity his mother's voice, bidding him goodnight, as he played the notes upon the grand old piano.

_"Goodnight_

_Sleep tight_

_No more tears_

_And in the morning_

_I'll be here_

_And when we say_

_Goodnight_

_Dry your eyes_

_Because we said_

_Goodnight_

_And now_

_Goodbye_

_We said goodnight_

_And now_

_Goodbye_

_Goodnight, Spock. Pleasant dreams."_

As he finished the last chord to the song, he suddenly noticed an aberration- a lone, fearless tear had made its way down from his right eye and now hung precociously from the tip of his nose, poised to fall. He acknowledged the emotion quickly and shoved it away, returning to his usual calm state before the emotion could manifest itself by other means.

It was foolish, he knew, coming here where his emotions could possibly make him lose control. He got up from the bench to leave, but took one look at the keys and illogically sat down again. _Just once more_, he thought to himself as his fingers picked out the beginning notes to his mother's lullaby and he told the computer to record.

Forgotten, the lone tear dropped upon the set of keys, dedicated to the memory of a mother, and impressed into the song of her son's devotion to her.

**A/N I recommend that you look up and actually LISTEN to these SONGS on YOUTUBE or another similar site while READING. Just saying.**

**I always use that song to go to sleep with, among other things. I can't sleep in the quiet of the familial suburbs, being raised in the city and all. Did I do alright in the portrayal of Spock's psyche? Also: I need a name for my character- any suggestions? No promises, but they'll be taken into serious consideration.** **The next chapter should be a little lighter, maybe. It's supposed to be something of a spoof. Also, I want to shout out to Crossoverpairinglover's 'Star Wars Infinity the Loops' Chapter 13, where, despite never seeing Star Trek, has a wonderful tribute to Mr. Nimoy. You can find it on . I wrote this immediately after reading this. **


	4. Chapter 4 Breakaway

**Songs for Spock**

A collection of short stories, all inter-connected. For Spock, for Jim, for Uhura. For anyone who needs it. Different pairings.

**Breakaway**

The Song Breakaway is by Kelly Clarkson

**For Carol**

As a young girl, Carol always dreamed of flying to the stars. She was always cooped up in London with her mother. Her father wasn't there often, busy being a Starfleet official. So Carol began to dream. One day as a teenager, she was looking in the Cultural History Archive for a school assignment: What do you think life in the early 2000's would be like as a young adult? Currently, she was listening to some of the popular music that appeared in movies during the time period.

"La la la la la la

La la la la la la

La la la la la la la la"

Oops, she must have hit one by accident. Oh well, this did show up in the search string she had entered.

"Grew up in a small town

And when the rain would fall down

I'd just stare out my window

Dreaming of what could be

And if I'd end up happy

I would pray

Trying not to reach out

But when I tried to speak out

Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here

But something felt so wrong here

So I prayed

I could breakaway

I spread my wings

And I learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes

Til I touch the sky

And I'll

Make a wish

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Out of the darkness

And into the sun

But I won't forget

All the ones that I love

I'll

Take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

La la la la la la

La la la la la la

La la la la la la la la

Wanna feel the warm breeze

Sleep under a palm tree

Feel the rush of the ocean

Get onboard a fast train

Travel on an airplane

Far away

I would pray

And breakaway

I spread my wings

And I'll learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes

Til I touch the sky

And I'll

Make a wish

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Out of the darkness

And into the sun

But I won't forget all the ones that I love

I gotta

Take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors

Swingin round revolving doors

Baby I don't know where they'll take me

But

Gotta on movin on

Movin on

Flyaway

Breakaway

I spread my wings

And I learn how to fly

Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye

Gotta

Take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Out of the darkness

And into the sun

But I won't forget

The place I come from

I gotta

Take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Breakaway

Breakaway"

Carol was amazed. Who knew she would find a song to perfectly describe her wants in an old 21st century song?

Wherever she went, that song seemed to follow her during the next several consecutive years. All through Starfleet Academy in San Francisco (She once even slept under a palm tree, even if she was blinding drunk during that time), even in space on her assignments. It never ceased to ring true with her.

Until she was permanently assigned to the Enterprise. She really did hope she could find a new kind of family here. She guessed she would just have to find a new theme song for her life. So one day, off shift, she went trolling through the Historical Archives once again…

**A/N Breakaway belongs to Kelly Clarkson, and appeared in the movie 'The Princess Diaries II' which was produced by Diseny. I own NUFFINK! Not really hapoy with this, but I forgot that I was supposed ti update on weekends… I guess this song could have fit somewhere else, but Carol was the fiRst one to come to mind, and I didn't want to hAve to sCrap the plot that I Spun out of thin Air, spit, Grit, and a whole lotta duck tApe, so I just stuck to it. Did you like the ending? I Did. It leaves a chance for continuation, if I so choose… HAve I Mentioned this yet? I'd like to take requests, both for songs and For characters. Even songs fOr characterS aNd what lIght yoU'd like to see the character in (For instance, I have a friend who can't stand Jim, even if I can't see the reasoninG behind it. I still plan to write her a oNe shot, though). So I guEss what I'm trying to say is that I'll look at any viewPoint and consider any song.**

**Brownies for anyone who can tell me the TWO reference quotes I used. But I'm only giving you hints for one. Hint: A movie with a TV spinoff Double hint: Taylor Swift's RED AlBum sEcrEt on the lyrics. But from the bottom up.**

**Yes, I like obscure things. Why do you ask?**

**H _'_ He_ _ _ _- A hint for the other reference, cause I'm a sucker.**

**Oh, and for anyone who reads this, like, forever after it's posted- feel free to take part in these 'games,' too. It's always fun to meet people who know their TRIVIA! (Yet another reference to the reference with two hints, except it's a reference to the spinoff… Am I making any sense here?) And since I made two references, I'll give you another hint- I have a story in this fandom.**


	5. Chapter 5 Streets of Gold

**Songs for Spock**

A collection of short stories, all inter-connected. For Spock, for Jim, for Uhura. For anyone who needs it. Different pairings.

**Streets of Gold**

The song Streets of Gold is a song by 3OH!3.

**For Nyota**

Spock had taken me to his quarters. I knew what was coming, but I didn't show it, on the chance that I was wrong. We stood in his quarters, surrounded by draperies, statues, and Spock's personal effects. The smell of incense hung heavy in the air.

"Nyota," He begun with his usual emotionless tone, "I do not believe our personal relationship should continue. We… seemed to have 'hit a brick wall,' to use Terran vernacular. I hope to continue our professional relationship without any complications because of this, however. I also hope that you are not offended by my… breaking up with you, as I believe you might say it."

Oh, Spock. I will miss your attempts to use figures of speech to express yourself. Before I could respond, however, he produced a PADD from his pocket. "I have, with the help of the Captain and Olivia, made a song track that was made with you in mind. I would like to gift it to you, as a parting gift."

"Oh, Spock, you didn't have to," I responded as I took the device from his hands and played the sound file. Immediately, Spock's voice came on.

"You could say it all

And I could bite my tongue

Cause it would take all week

To tell you where I'm from

I know what you're about

Why don't you close your mouth

And step right over here

So we can dance."

Suddenly, Jim Kirk's voice stepped in.

"These lazy days

Are way too long

Like razor blades

Under your tongue

And the starship lights

Will burn you down

Or build you up

High above the ground

High above the ground

High above the ground

High above the ground"

Spock's voice came on again.

"The stars are getting dark

But I can feel their heat

I slide my hands right down

To right below your knees

If this is all there is

Then this is all there can be

Cause I don't see no road

That leads to you and me"

The Captain sang the rest.

"They paved the ways

On empty roads

Into the grey

Of old headstones

And the path you take

Might be your own

But tonight

You walk on streets of gold

Walk on streets of gold

You walk on streets of gold

Walk on streets of gold

Gold

Gold

Where did you go

When the sun rose?

Now I know

How to get off these dirt roads

To find these streets of gold

Where did you go

When the sun rose?

Now I know

How to get off these dirt roads

To find these streets of gold

Gold

Walk on streets of gold

You walk on streets of gold

Gold

Walk on streets of gold

Gold

You walk on streets of gold!

You walk on streets of gold

Walk on streets of gold

Gold

Gold-

She walks on streets of gold."

She felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"Oh, Spock, this is wonderful. Thank you."

"You do not take personal slight to the fact that I do not want to be in a romantic relationship with you anymore?"

"No, Spock, I don't. I already had suspicions that you wanted to do this. It…It wasn't going anywhere, was it?"

"Negative, Nyota. It was not. Again, I must postulate the desire that this does not affect our professional relationship."

She smiled at him, even if it felt a little broken.

"Don't worry. It won't. And Spock, if you need me to clarify any odd behaviors or turns of phrases, just let me know. I won't object."

Spock seemed relieved.

"Thank you, Nyota." As she turned to leave, he said one last thing. "And I hope that you re- like the song."

She didn't reply, but walked out. In the corridor, she met Doctor McCoy. Coming back from visiting the Captain, she presumed. He took one look at her and said, "You look like you need a shoulder to cry on, sweetheart. Why don't you come on down to my office, and I can get you a drink?"

She smiled and took his hand.

**A/N Streets of Gold is owned by, performed by, and created by 3OH!3. All rights belong to them. **

**I've always liked Uhura and Bones together. Does anyone else think this? (Atlas put the idea into my head (I think…)) So this can be taken either way. A quick note about updates: This is ongoing, and I will most likely never put a complete stop on this unless I decide to close the account. This is the last of my pre-written chapters, so updates will be sporadic from now on. One last thing- if anyone wants to run with any of the ideas here, go on ahead. Just send me a note so I can R&amp;R, yeah? And trust me, I won't be scared away by anything, whether it be disturbing content or ghastly grammar. Or even in a foreign language. So yeah… **


End file.
